Dont you care?
by SubaruWings
Summary: This is a cutter fic. Kagome Higarashi is a troubled teenage girl who feels no one really cares about her and so she resorts to cutting to hopefully make someone care about her. Inuyasha another troubled teenager meets Kagome and they decide to make a cut
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any characters in Rumiko Takahashi's line of work.

Chapter one

Summary: Kagome Higarashi is a troubled teenage girl who feels no one really cares about her and so she resorts to cutting to hopefully make someone care about her. Inuyasha another troubled teenager meets Kagome and decides that he will be in her cutting group. But soon things turn out to be a bit more violent than Kagome originally planned.

It was a very nasty day with the wind blowing leaves all over Kagome's apartment home.

"Another day of school that will end in terrible sadness on my part" said a very depressed looking Kagome.

"Kagome School is going to start soon so get going" yelled Mrs. Higarashi from the downstairs living room.

"Fine, but cant you say anything like good morning at least?"

"No time school is going to start.

"Fine" said Kagome at last grabbing her coat and running out the door. 'Maybe ill just not go to school today ill just go to the park and sit there till school ends' thought Kagome 'no the school will call mom and ill get in trouble but at least somebody will care.' Kagome changed direction suddenly and found herself walking the opposite way of school to the park. 'I'll just sit here and draw or something until I hear the stupid school bell ring to go home.'

Kagome finally made it to the park and made a beeline for a bench that couldn't be seen from the street. 'Yes this is perfect no one will notice me here its to secluded.'

Suddenly out of nowhere ran a boy about seventeen with long silver hair and bright amber eyes. He looked as though he was from a fairytale with those features. He wore the regular style of big baggy black pants and a baggy red shirt that went down to his hips. He stopped a few feet from Kagome and saw a newspaper on the bench next to where Kagome sat. He ran up grabbed the newspaper and held it up so no one could see his face. Kagome just stared until a middle aged police cop ran past them ranting and raving about a stupid teenager and how he had to get to school.

"Hey thanks for not turning me in, by the way I'm Inuyasha and you are?" said the silver haired boy.

Kagome was flabbergasted and just stared at him. Inuyasha started to fidget under her intense gaze.

"Not one for talking are you?"

Kagome woke up from her state of shock and thought 'Why should he want to know about me? Maybe he cares who I am.' "ummmm…..My names Kagome and I am very pleased to make your aquatince" Said a very calm Kagome 'If I play my cards right he will maybe be my friend.'

"Oh cool are you skipping school too?"

"ummm….well yes I'm trying to find out if they will care enough to call my mom."

"hmmm…..I see well I have to get going or that dumb ass police ciop will find me and boy will I be in trouble" said Inuyasha as he got up and waved goodbye and ran the opposite way the police cop went.

Kagome sat there and wondered if she would ever see him again.


	2. Chapter II

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha story or characters Rumiko Takahashi does.

Kagome sat on the bench for another hour or so until boredom finally caught up with her.

"Coming here was dumb, schools even funner than this. Where can I go now?

Kagome got her things and started to leave the park behind to go home or maybe even to school. When Kagome finally made up her mind she found that her feet were already carrying her down the sidewalk to school.

'Wow even my subconscious mind knows what to do better than me.' Kagome walked up to the wire fence that surrounded her school and sighed at what she saw. 'People suck, they suck more than me, which sucks in a whole new suckier way.' Thought Kagome as she watched her classmates run happily around the schoolyard.

"Hey isn't that Kagome by the fence?" yelled a boy to his friend.

Kagome heard and immediately looked towards them.

"Yeah that's her alright I guess she's ditching or something, but who cares really."

"Your right who cares"

Kagome ran away from the school as fast as she could, sadly Kagome didn't feel the runners high and finally had to stop to catch her breath.

'I was right they all think that way! I was so stupid to think anyone would care.'

Kagome made her way home and snuck into her room without her mom noticing. Kagome felt tired and finally fell asleep.

"Finally I've caught up to you, you evil boy!" said a very upset and out of breath police officer.

"Really now, are you sure I didn't let you catch up to me?" Inuyasha stated calmly not out of breath at all.

"Shut up I've been chasing you for two hours now and I'm no longer just taking you back to school i'm taking you to the police station!"

"Keh, like you could old man" and with that Inuyasha jumped the fence behind him and disappeared. But he was followed down the alley way with yells of curses and damnations to the underworld.

Inuyasha walked to the park hoping he could find that girl and sit down and have a real conversation with her, because to Inuyasha she looked just as isolated and confused as he did. But to no avail because when Inuyasha got to the bench all that was left was the newspaper he used to hide behind earlier that morning. He walked to the bench and sat down. "Man, I guess she's not here, that's a bummer". Inuyasha feeling very tired lied down on the bench and fell asleep but listening to see if that cop would come find him.

"How are you going to get into collage this way Kagome? Really don't you have any common sense this is the third time this week!" screamed Kagomes mother.

Kagome looked through her mother and pretended she was looking at the wall. Her mother finally found her an hour before school would have ended and had been yelling at her for two hours strait. 'I was almost there so close and mom would have never known' thought a very depressed Kagome. Kagome got up and started to walk to her room ignoring her mom as she went. But Kagome never made it to her room instead she found solitude in the bathroom where her mothers ranting couldn't be heard from. "Maybe if I run away and find a whole different place to live would people care for me than?" asked Kagome while she looked around the bathroom, suddenly a shine of light caught her eye and found it was her razor. 'Maybe…but no that would be wrong, but people who cut themselves get attention all the time don't they?' Kagome got up and went into the cupboard and found an un-used razor that had a very sharp and shiny edge. "Yes I could and it could get better right?" Kagome broke the plastic around the razor off and pressed it to her pale skin. "It will work I know it will, it has to!" and with that a small drop of blood fell out of her wrist and dropped to the floor.


	3. an

I am truly sorry to everyone who has read this story and liked it. I will probably not be putting up any new chapters for some time. I wrote a great new chapter but my computer erased it before I could save. So right now I am trying to find my muse and start again. Sorry again.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry it took so long to update this may not be the best chap. But it will do.

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha Rumiko Takahashi does. I also do not own Dir en Grey.

Nothing was more pitiful than how Kagome's arm looked. Even she knew it was sad. One her perfectly pale arm there were quite a few long jagged scratches. Not cuts mind you. 'God it looks like my cat just scratched me up' thought Kagome as she lay in the foamy bath. The bath didn't reflect how she felt, the bath was warm and bubbly, with many vibrant colors that shined when the light above her shone on them. Kagome's mood was dark and depressing, the happiness around her was just another façade. But what did she care? Why should she care? 'Yes why care?' thought Kagome as she shifted in the bubbles to become more comfortable. 'Nobody else cares' with those thoughts Kagome drifted away to a place where her thoughts could no longer reach her. The attempts on her life failed miserably. Why couldn't blood in the movies when you cut yourself be like blood in real life. In the movies it just poured out and wouldn't stop not just bleed for a second and cake all nasty. Kagome sat up only to reach over and switch on her CD player next to the bathtub. She changed the song to #1 of the her favorite CD's Dir en Grey. The song was Mindless Cult and the lyrics seemed to calm her nerves despite the screaming. As she lay there listening to the screaming of the voices of Dir en Grey her mind floated away just like the steam and time.

The next time Kagome awoke she was still in the bathtub and Dir en Grey was over. The bath now reflected her mood perfectly. The water was cold and a sickly green color thanks to her green tinted bathtub. All the steam and bubbles where dissipated, left only as a memory of loathing. Kagome lay a bit more before she got up and rinsed off under the freezing cold-water spout. 'I don't feel very warm inside so why feel it outside' she thought as she shivered again. The mirror once fogy now held nothing but clear brightness and the towel was also cold and so were her pajamas. No matter what she felt cold. Cold, empty, nothing. The person in the mirror was a void looking at itself, dark circles, pale face, incredibly thin. 'No wonder no one cares, I look dead already.'

Kagome made her way to her room and noticed that she spent three hours lying in the bathtub. Not surprised much, Kagome switched on the TV and watched for tomorrows weather report. The weather was supposed to be bright and sunny all week. Kagome sighed and turned off the depressing TV. Kagome pulled out her journal and wrote about her day. A ritual that she never broke, a ritual she couldn't break. It was engraved in her heart and her mind. The same thing everyday, the same thing every year at least since she was 12 and since now she was 17 it seemed a lot of years ago. Kagome put her journal away and shut off the light snuggling into the soft covers and enveloped herself in the comforting darkness, never caring if she woke up from it again. A lone thought flickered across her mind, a boy with silver hair and smiling golden eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Ok I am going to try and update this story more often, but no guarantees on that. I have been thinking of new chapters ever since I stopped updating so I will hopefully get more in.

Also thank you to everyone who has reviewed my story and liked it. That makes me very happy!

Also this chapter will be a describing chapter about her notebooks.

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha Rumiko Takahashi does.

Kagome had three notebooks that were very important to her. She had been writing in these notebooks since she was twelve and she felt that it made her be her. Each notebook had a maximum of one hundred pages that she filled up very quickly. Kagome's finished notebooks would go into a box at the top of her closet for her to read and remember what went on in her life so far. So far Kagome didn't even know how many notebooks she had, all she knew is she had over 10 boxes of notebooks. The reason being is that she wrote in two notebooks everyday and the last one only on occasion. A couple years back Kagome remembered her teacher ask her if she could save one of her material possessions if a fire occurred which one would it be. Unlike the other kids who said their favorite toy or video game, Kagome said her notebooks.

The first notebook was where she would take time early in the morning when she first woke up to write what she felt the day would bring. This notebook was filled w/ all the happy things she was thinking and feeling. Hardly ever was there a sad thought in the notebook. All of her hopes and dreams for happiness during the day were poured into that notebook. Her feelings when writing in that notebook, was always pure and clean. No bad thoughts or sadness. An example would be:

Dear journal,

This morning feels extremely special. When I go to school today everyone I know will wave to me and say good-morning and I will be picked first for PE. At lunch I will get first in line and get the special dessert before they run out of it. Nobody will be mean and tease me, no one will pour anything on my head or leave something on the floor for me to slip on. I wont be invisible today I will be popular and beautiful and everyone will see the real me. Boys will like me and ask me on dates and girls will ask to be my friend. Today will be the most perfect day of my life!

The journal entry was her special little pep talk for the day. Everything was always good in those pages. It explained her perfect day and how her imaginary self lived. This notebook was always hidden somewhere where nobody could find it. The place was between the back wall and her bookcase. After writing in that book the day seemed a little brighter. Even though Kagome herself knew that the expectations for the day were a bit much she still felt like writing them.

The second notebook was her dream notebook. In this notebook Kagome wrote the dreams she had the previous night. Some entries were about sad dreams and some were happy ones. Most of the dreams she had was of her floating away and never sinking back to earth. In those dreams she had wings that stretched out far and begged for her to go higher. The wings would take her to the stars beyond the clouds. Out into the emptiness of space and farther still until all she felt was the darkness and floaty feeling of nothing. In other more sad dreams she sat alone in a dark room. The feeling of floatiness (I know its not a real word, but it fit perfect) forgotten and the sinking off into cold thoughts grabbed at her heart. No light shone anywhere and if there was any light shadows covered the walls and stared at her. The shadows would sneak up behind her and envelop her into more darkness and shadows. Until all she saw was the sadness in her own eyes amplified by the darkness in her heart. During those dreams she felt sick emotionally and physically. Soon whispers would float to her ears. Whispers from her peers and from people on the street. "Nothing" is usually what they whispered. All the dreams good and bad were sketched into those pages. When she read them over she felt sadness and happiness. Than nothing.

The third notebook held what happened throughout the day. Right before she would go to sleep Kagome would write in detail about how good or bad her day was. Every hurtful and encouraging word that was said to her. When she was being forgotten, ignored, praised, or helped. Everything went into the notebook. Most things written done were her depressing thoughts. How hopeless every day felt and how darkness clouded her vision. How the tears burned and the words stung. Kagome never read those notebooks. They were left unread and forgotten. Except for a special time each year when she would read one or two. Even on her birthday nothing was good. An example was from her birthday in school when she was twelve. Her mom had encouraged her to bring cupcakes to share w/ the rest of the class even though Kagome didn't want to; she went along w/ her mom hoping that sweets could buy her friends.

Dear Journal,

Today was my birthday. I turned twelve. Mom bought a whole bunch of pretty colored cupcakes, decked in icing and sugar candies. They all had a little plastic sign sticking out of them that said 'Happy Birthday'. I believed them to be beautiful, I was sure my whole class would love them. I realized today to not have any faith in my class, I really should have gone along with my gut feeling of not bringing anything and just be invisible like always. I got to school with my big paper bag holding my beautiful cupcakes and walked into my homeroom class. Everyone stopped and stared at me when the teacher said I had brought cupcakes to share w/ the class because of my birthday. The first thing somebody said was "Isn't that a bit to juvenile for middle school?" Everybody started laughing I could feel my face go bright red. More laughing, laughing at my embarrassment. The teacher hushed the class down and asked me to pick someone to help me pass out my cupcakes. I felt like getting revenge, so I picked the person that had started the laughing a guy named Hiten. He stared at me and got up and dragged himself to the front of the class never stopping glaring at me. We passed out all the cupcakes some people ate them but most people just sat them on their desk staring at them. Hiten glared at his and started to smirk evilly. Soon lunch came along and as soon as I walked into the cafeteria everyone quieted down and stared at me. The word about the cupcakes must have gotten around. I walked to my seat in the back at a shady corner, to hide from all the staring eyes. I could feel them glaring at my back. Than it came, the first of many horrible events that day. Hiten came up to me and stood behind me, I didn't turn around. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around so I faced the whole cafeteria, all eyes where on me and than he took one of my cupcakes from this morning and squished it into my hair until it was everywhere. He laughed and got my milk and poured it on my head and said, "Maybe now you will think twice about picking me to help pass out your stupid cupcakes!" The whole cafeteria was silent but than burst out laughing. I held in my tears that were burning and blurring my vision and ran out of the cafeteria, the sound of laughing following me as I ran and as I got pelted by a few of my cupcakes. I ran to the bathroom covered in my cupcakes, my beautiful cupcakes crushed and broken just like my heart. Their beauty now gone left in crumbles in my hair, the sweet icing smeared on my clothes. I learned today never to bring anything to class ever again.

All entry's where broken and depressing to her. Nothing made her feel better about that notebook, so it was left. Forgotten until one day when their terror would mean nothing to her. A memory faded away crushed and broken just like her cupcakes.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry it's taken so long to update, I have just been really busy.

Also this story is supposed to be really sad.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Rumiko Takahashi does. Also I do not own the song Monophobia by Plastic Tree.

* * *

Kagome awoke the next morning thinking nothing in particular. She got up and went to the radio and turned on another of her favorite songs Monophobia by Plastic Tree. She loved the sound of the odd lyrics from the lead singer Ryutaro. Even if his interest in hospitals was a bit odd. But she had to admit they were addictive. As she made her way to the bathroom she thought of how bad the day would suck. But you could never tell that from her journal entry. The night before Kagome had no dreams and she was glad. Lately her dreams had become a bit frightening. But only because she liked them. Ever since she had cut her wrists Kagome had been dreaming of her blood flowing out like a river, never stopping even as she lay in a pool of blood. She had seen the boy Inuyasha two other times since the first. Once at school when he was being introduced to the class and the second when he was walking in the same park they met at. He had waved to her both times and all Kagome could do was blush and wave back.

Kagome still didn't feel loved and still attempted to make herself bleed quite a few times more. Kagome knew that everything would stay the same. Empty and cold, never getting the chance to feel anything but loneliness and despair. Little did Kagome know her world would change forever. Until that fated day at the park, when she would see Inuyasha for the fourth time.

Kagome had just left her house and was making her way to school when she heard the school bell ring. Signaling that she was now late. 'Not again" thought Kagome as she walked. 'Every time I feel uplifted about going to school I always end up being late.' Kagome thought that maybe the gods were trying to tell her to forget about school and just be a failure. Kagome sighed and decided to make a detour through the park, since she was already late. On her way through the winding paths she walked by the bench where she had met Inuyasha for the first time. She was surprised to see Inuyasha sitting there hunched over and doing something to his arm. But upon closer expect ion she noticed he was bleeding from long gashes up and down his forearm. Kagome gasped and Inuyasha lifted his head up and stared at her before quickly pulling down his sleeves. "Oh, hello…umm…Kagome, yes that's it" Inuyasha said. "I saw what you were doing" Kagome said before he could get another word out. "Oh! Well…………you see…I was just trying to…" But Kagome cut him off by sitting next to him and saying "I don't care". She than pulled up her sleeves and Inuyasha saw the small slashes going up and down her arm.

"I see you do it to then?" Inuyasha said.

"Yeah, but I don't know how to do it really, I cant get it to flow, ya know?" Kagome replied.

"Well how about we start a cutting club?"

"A what! Replied Kagome.

"You know, a cutting club. Where people get together and just bleed together."

Kagome stared at him as if he just sprouted another head.

Inuyasha tried to explain " I already know a few other people who would be happy to cut with other people.

Kagome thought about it and said "Well when and where would it be?"

"That's easy" Inuyasha said smile ling "During lunch and in the supply shed behind the gym".

"But wouldn't somebody see us there?" interjected Kagome with a worried look.

"No, No. They haven't used that thing in ages."

"How would you know? You just moved here."

"True, True" Inuyasha said looking up at the sky with a thoughtful look on his face. "But I know this kid named Miroku, ever heard of him?"

"Yes, a few times…"

But before Kagome could finish her sentence Inuyasha started talking again.

"Well he said that he goes there and messes around with girls and he says that it has been abandoned."

Kagome looked down and let her bangs shield her eyes as she said, "Who will be in the club? I mean who do you know that wants to join?"

"Well…" Inuyasha started " That would have to be Miroku, Naraku, Kikyo, Kagura and Kanna of course, also a girl named Ayame, and one more…damn who am I forgetting?" Inuyasha said to himself.

"You mean all of them?" Kagome stuttered questingly looking at Inuyasha with wide eyes.

"Yeah why?" Inuyasha said.

"Well they all seem so happy, well except for Kanna."

"Well my dear, looks can be deceiving."

Inuyasha sat there thinking for a while while Kagome stared at the ground with wide eyes contemplating what Inuyasha had just said.

Just then Inuyasha said, "I remember!" scaring the crap out of Kagome.

"Sango that's her name!" Inuyasha glance over at Kagome who was still breathing hard from the scare from Inuyasha's sudden voice.

"What?" asked Inuyasha with a questioning look.

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Sorry again for not reviewing sooner. I know this chapter was a tad boring but they will get better (I hope). 


	7. Chapter 7

Im so sorry for not updating in so long. I promise to have the next chapter up within this next week. I just got a new job so I have been very busy lately. But I have half of the new chapter done already. Until next time…


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry I haven't updated for a while, I just needed to figure out the depressing parts in this chapter. (I really like the depressing stuff.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha, Rumiko Takahashi does nor do I own Malice Mizer's Syunikiss!

* * *

After that day Kagome and Inu Yasha began planning on the group. It took Inu Yasha a lot of convincing to get Kagome to join, but he finally did.

"So should we meet Fridays or Mondays?" asked Kagome.

"Why must it be those days? Why cant it be like a Tuesday or something like that?" questioned Inu Yasha.

"Well Monday and Friday seem the most depressing days, I mean on Monday its back to school and it's the end of the weekends. Than on Fridays you realize that you don't have anything to occupy your time with during the weekend."

"Hmmmm…Now that you put it that way it makes more sense." Confessed Inu Yasha. "But I think it would be smarter to ask everyone that's going to be in the group what days they prefer, and whatever day is widely appreciated will be the one."

"Okay" agreed Kagome, "I have to go now but I will see you tomorrow at three, okay"

"Sure" and with that they parted ways.

Now one would think that Kagome would be happier with the fact that she made a friend but she wasn't. Kagome was even more miserable. The reason being that it was only a friendship to share pain, and that isn't a very uplifting friendship at all. When Kagome finally got home she went up to her room and cried. Pulling out her night journal Kagome poured out her feelings for that day.

Dear Journal,

Today was even more depressing than yesterday. The entire thought of people getting together to bleed and share their pain in a small abandoned shed is…well…depressing. The more I think about it the more I get sick. I can't help it though, I want people to care and if this is the only way than so be it.

The rest of the journal entry was pointless and Kagome even wondered why she spent the time to write in a journal anyways. 'No, I cant be thinking these thoughts, I've spent to long writing in journals I cant just stop now' Kagome thought. That night Kagome tossed and turned in a fitful sleep, dreaming about bleeding and dying alone. The next day Kagome and Inu Yasha met the people that they wanted in the group. Most looked bored and some looked kind of nervous to be there. Most of the questions they had about the group were stupid and sounded as if their world would stop turning if any of their friends found out. A few of these questions were:

"Will this be confidential? I would just die if anybody found out!"

"Im on the swimming team and I also go to the beach a lot with my friends so do you only get to cut on your arms? How about on the inner thigh, or the stomach?"

"Do any of you have HIV? Because of you do I'm not joining."

All the questions were answered and they decided to meet up the next day and figure out days and times. Kagome decided that on the way home she would stop by the park. She sat down on a bench and stared at the sun fading behind the mountains and the stars peeping out. 'What am I doing here?' Kagome asked herself. But no answer came and no answer would ever come. Kagome had one of her journals with her and she decided to write down about what she saw and how she felt about.

Dear Journal

Tonight I saw a shooting star fly through the sky before the sun went down, leaving a trail or memories in its wake. I heard the last birds flap their wings as they flew back to their warm and cozy nests. I felt the air grow cold and the wind start to beat faster at my cheeks. In a few homes not so far away from where I sit, I can hear little kids with their parents getting ready for bed. Laughing and playing until they finally go to sleep. I hate the sound of happiness because I feel no happiness. Everything around me is sad and just because of that I hate everyone else being happy! I tried to slit my wrists tonight it didn't work. I can't cut deep enough. Maybe in this new "cutting group" I can make friends and learn some tricks of the trade, figuratively speaking of course. Another deal with the devil just like the cupcakes, I'm just asking for trouble. What if in this new group someone accidentally cuts to deep and dies? What will happen? Too many questions and not enough answers. In this world there are always thousands of questions and only a few hundred answers. That is another reason why I hate it! So much confusion. Maybe I'm just being difficult with myself.

"Well that's enough writing for me, at least for this night." Kagome said to herself.

Kagome got up and started to walk home looking at the bright stars shine brilliantly in the sky. As soon as Kagome got in the door an onslaught of silence greeted her. It was almost midnight and yet her Mother didn't care.

'Thanks for worrying mother' Kagome thought to herself sarcastically.

Kagome walked up the stairs and shut herself inside her room and turned on her music. Tonight was Malice Mizer's Syunikiss. The violins calmed her and made her feel at peace. She sat on her bed and used her razor to cut deep into her arm. Yet the more she pressed the more pain she felt and the less blood came out.

"You hateful thing!" yelled Kagome "Why can't you ever work for me?"

She fell down sobbing onto her pillow falling asleep in scratches and tears.

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I will write more soon, I promise! 


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for not updating for quite awhile, I have been having very big problems in my life so far. I cant update a lot but I will try to make my chapters longer.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story, it means a lot and because of you guys I haven't given up on this story.

Also thanks to youkaigirl64 who gave me the idea for the box cutters, if you read this chapter you see my thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, Rumiko Takahashi does.

* * *

Kagome felt like dying the next morning, not because of the scrathches on her arm or the stinging pain caused by the scratches but by the sadness that leaked in and out of her. It went through her pores and into her blood stream then through her heart and finally to her brain and out her eyes in the form of tears. As Kagome summed up her life so many times before, it was crap. Day in and day out; all day everyday. The moment she woke up her head hurt and when she went to sleep at night it only dulled into a throbbing ache. Food to her now tasted of soggy cardboard even the sweets she loved lost their luster. Her throat burned and it felt as if she was falling apart. Going to school every morning to just sit in class and feel lonely wasn't her kind of fun. At lunch instead of sitting with the other adolescences of society she found a small corner in which to lodge herself. Away from prying eyes and the happiness she could feel coming from them. Kagome grew spiteful and cold, always keeping her head down and staring at the ground. 

The thought of the upcoming "club" didn't help her mind out very much. So many questions still left unanswered floated threw her head. 'Nothing makes sense anymore' thought Kagome ' Is the sky even blue in my world anymore?' A relatively stupid question to ask oneself but still it was another thought, another question she couldn't answer to her self anymore. Even though everyday the sky was pretty darn blue.

She decided to take a shower and than dress and maybe than she would die. Or maybe she thought she could take a shower, get dressed, walk in the park awhile, and than die. Each option seemed good but still it wasn't very smart. Well in any case she took a shower and got dressed. Than she went downstairs.

"Kagome, Kagome, Kagome" her mother said as she saw her daughter descend the stairs. "Why in the world do you look so glum today?"

Kagome felt like smacking her mother for asking such a stupid question, aren't mothers supposed to sense the inner turmoil of their children? But instead of any smacking for the fear of what it might bring from her mother she just answered with a nonchalant "Nothing, why?"

" I don't know you just look glum"

"Well its nothing so can you just drop it?" Kagome asked hoping the answer to be yes.

"Ok, but only because I have to go to work again today, they need me a lot."

Instead of feeling joy for her wish of dropping the subject about her sadness. Kagome just felt bitter knowing that today again the world would be endless without having company, even if said company typed away at a computer all day in the home office.

"Ok, I'm leaving now so be a good girl while I'm gone!"

"Fine mama. I will"

Than her mother left leaving Kagome alone and tired of being bored already.

'I will go to the park and hopefully on my way there I will get run over by a car.'

On her way to the park she didn't get run over by a car nor did anything happen at all. As soon as she was in the park and sitting on the infamous bench hidden by a branch, none other than InuYasha popped out to inform her of the date of the first "club" day.

Hi, InuYasha so its on Monday?" Kagome asked.

"Yeah" InuYasha said "that's it, I told everyone about what you suggested and they said it was a great idea."

"Wow people actually liked my idea? That's different"

"Whatever Kagome I think you are perfectly smart."

Kagome fought the blush rising to her cheeks but failed only a bit.

"Don't say that InuYasha you will make me blush!" Kagome joked.

InuYasha only just smiled and shrugged.

"So will everyone you listed be able to make it? Kagome wondered aloud to InuYasha.

"Yep, they all said yes."

Even though everybody showed up for the first day some looked as if they would rather die than ever step foot into that little shed again. Inuyasha had to keep insuring people the club was going to be clean and nobody would have to tell their deep dark secrets about why they wanted to cut in the first place. InuYasha knew the blunt reason everyone was their but not the real reason. The whole picture is usually confidential. Nobody really likes their personal stuff out in the open, especially their weaknesses.

Kagome didn't want people to know why she cut mainly because her turmoil was pretty small compared to the rest. Plus she didn't want people to feel pity for her, but one thing was guaranteed in the "club". Everybody would understand what it felt like to want to just bleed. Kagome was positive if she told her mother or brother or anyone else for that matter they wouldn't understand. They would think her alien and disturbed. But, when around people that do the same things you do… its easier. When around InuYasha she wasn't afraid to say how good it felt to see your own blood, how sometimes the pain of the cut can overpower the pain of your heart and mind.

"So Kagome I told people to bring their own weapon of choice, what are you bringing?" asked InuYasha.

To Kagome the way he asked it sounded sinister. With the "weapon" part and all. "A razor I got off a shaver" she said.

"A razor?" InuYasha looked as if he was hit in the face with a cold dead fish and couldn't get over the surprise of what just happened. "Kagome let me see your arms…where you cut" He asked with a questioning look on his face.

Kagome was a tad wary of what he was getting at but showed her chicken scratches to him.

"Oh, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome' said InuYasha.

Kagome felt déjà vu.

"No wonder you complain about not being able to bleed. Razors suck they don't do crap."

Kagome was shocked at this, in the movies people always used razors even on books.

"What do you mean InuYasha? What about in Movies and…"

InuYasha cut her off and said "Kagome books and movies and TV shows they are all a bunch of patooie! The real things are box cutters and really sharp metal, sometimes knives."

Kagome felt enlightened but how could she get a box cutter without her mother being suspicious? Kagome had no money and she couldn't ask her mother fearing of looking nervous as she lied.

InuYasha saw her worried and shook his head as if sad for her and tired of dealing with her. "How 'bout this Kagome, you get about $10 for me and I will get it for you."

Kagome looked up with a smile. "InuYasha thank you so much! I don't know how I could properly harm myself without you!

Later that week Kagome paid InuYasha and he gave her the box cutter. Than that night as she sat in the bathroom and pressed the knife to her skin, dragging it down in a line. Kagome bled for the very first time from a self inflicted wound, and all it did was make her want more.

* * *

Wow, that's the longest chapter I have done! Anyway, the next few chapters I'm going to do explains the people in the clubs stories of why they do what they do. I have ideas so it wont be to long for me to get them down. Hope you still review this! 


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